I’d hold you close if you were here. I’d give you all of me: body and soul, flesh and bones, joy and fears. You never ask me, darling, how much I love you, but I want to tell you.
I want to tell you but the heart sometimes converses in a language unknown to the tongue, or even to the pen. Sometimes, however powerful words are, they’re not more powerful than the hurricane behind the eyes that you see. Eyes – windows to the soul, empty and full, kind yet scary. There’s so much eyes can say.
If I was there with you tonight, I’d be closer to your demons than you ever were. I’d befriend them and sing to them lullabies, even though I’m a ‘disastrous singer’ (as you often say – and I like it). I’d calm your storms as my arms would form a defense shield between you and the world.
I’d love you like you’re the one thing I never had, and the only thing I have. I’d tell the winds to hush as you sleep. I’ll tell the stars to shine brighter in your sky. Not that they would obey me, but a lover is a madman, and madmen talk to the moon, too, so I can at least just tell them to obey me. I’d tell the nights to be longer and the days to be shorter, so that I could hold you like this for longer while you dream. I’d watch you fall asleep – and oh, what a beautiful honey-like scene that’d be!
I cannot promise you things that’d die, like flowers or beauty, because then you’d only cry. I cannot watch you shed a tear, my dear. If I had the choice, I’d take all our fears, and give you but a laughter of a life-time. Oh… your laughter. The most mesmerizing song that I have ever heard. You’re no less than perfect…
Just so you know, I don’t have to be in the same city as you to love you like this. I love you, and that love trespasses all boundaries of distance and only-if(s). I love you more than I have loved myself, and if that won’t be enough, I’ll only love you more… never less. Remember that.